Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope you all had an Amazing Day!

Christmas here was okay. It wasn’t quite what I hoped it would be.

I went into this holiday season with the realization that this could be mom’s last Christmas. 🙁

Mom hasn’t been eating as well and I am having to incorporate pureed foods into her diet. She doesn’t seem to mind it, though. In fact, feeding time seems to be a time of bonding for us. Bonding is always nice.

Originally, I wasn’t sure if mom would be receptive to pureed foods. But, she is. I’m so happy. Once it’s time for the full transition, it should go rather well.

In fact, I think sometimes, she prefers it more. It’s easier on her swallow reflexes and it’s little to no chewing involved. BIG WIN for her! 🙂

Mom’s companion went away despite my protest and the knowledge that there might not be another Christmas for her. Well, if I’m right, it’s their Karma. I can’t make my mom’s companion see her as present or as a human being.

I mean, mom “might or might not” know it was Christmas. But, she is still a human being. And she still enjoys Christmas Music!

We didn’t have the dog with us, because mom’s companion took him to spite me. Eh, whatever. It wasn’t spiteful to me. I spent Christmas sick. So, it was actually okay with me. I didn’t have the energy to walk him.

For Christmas, I got my mom a neck pillow. She has a habit of sleeping in weird positions. So, I figured the pillow would help her keep her neck up and more aligned. She seems to really like it and didn’t mind it. So, that makes me happy.

My grandmother came and spent Christmas with us. She brought some food. So, I didn’t have to cook. Since I was sick, I appreciated that.

So, all in all, we didn’t do much. It was a nice quiet day at home and I got to spend much needed and desired quality time with my mom.

I’m hoping mom will still be here next Christmas and we won’t be in this house, so if she is here I can make her holiday really special. Because she deserves a special day. Not just Christmas day, but every day.

I don’t know what 2020 holds for us. I guess none of us do. But, all I want is for all of us is to be healthy and happy. I want to spend the time cherishing whatever moments I have left with mom. I know I will lose her one day. But, I’m not ready. Is anyone ever really ready to lose their loved ones though? You always want your mommy/daddy. Seems no matter how old I get, I’ll always need her.

On a happier note…

On Christmas Day, I was remembering Christmases past…

One particular happy memory I had actually took place on a several Christmas Eves…

See, my mom started this tradition with me when I was a little girl…Every Christmas Eve, while she was wrapping gifts, eating the treats and beer we left Santa, she would leave one of my gifts unwrapped and she would place it in the middle of my room, so if I woke up in the middle of the night, I would see it, right in front of me. One year, a really cute cabbage patch doll!

If I didn’t see the present until morning, I would wake up screaming and so excited, “MOMMY! LOOK AT WHAT SANTA LEFT ME!”, or, “Mommy! Mommy! Santa was here!”

Mom would look at my gift and say something like, “oh, that’s so nice!” And she would give me a huge hug and kiss. Then, we would go downstairs at 6 or 7am and open gifts.

That was always so special to me. It always made me feel like Santa had been there and loved me enough to leave something special unwrapped, just for me. And I looked for that every year. It’s special moments like that that stick with you.

Mom wasn’t perfect (no parent is). Mom wasn’t rich (not even close). But, she used what little she had to make Christmas Special and memorable for me. And I will always love and appreciate her for that!